How a Boy in a Bookstore Broke my Heart
Bookstores, like libraries, are full of possibilities. The possibility of adventure, education, learning a new skill, the exploration of ideas. For us readers, these institutions of amalgamated human knowledge are sacred ground. Books allow us to explore real places, other lives, made-up worlds, different cultures, religions, careers, and human experiences without leaving the comfort of our own couch. As one of the great authors of our time George R.R. Martin said, “I have lived a thousand lives and I’ve loved a thousand loves. I’ve walked on distant worlds and seen the end of time. Because I read.”
Because I read.
Those three little words, like I love you, carry an immense amount of weight. They can answer questions, stop (and start) arguments, and bring about understanding. So it hurts when someone defames my career, and my hobby. Not because they don’t like what I do, but because I know what they are missing. It is especially painful when that person is a child.
On a rare night out without the kids, my wife and I stopped by our local used bookstore before grabbing a bite to eat. After we got inside, she headed towards the psychology section, and I went straight to the fantasy books. Though we have much in common as a couple, our reading habits are not one of them. I meticulously scanned the shelves trying to find something on my TBR. Not having any luck I gave up and wandered over to the philosophy section. After a few minutes there, empty-handed, I began making my way over to the history section to see if those shelves held anything interesting.
On my way over, I passed by the children’s reading area. I noticed a father sitting at one of those child-sized tables, his knees practically up to his ears, reading a book with a little girl who looked about six. An older boy, around ten, sat with them. It made me smile. I’ve been that dad, squished into furniture far too small for my frame so I could be on my kids' level and read with them. As a father and librarian, seeing families engaged with books like that restores a bit of my faith in humanity. That is until the boy opened his mouth.
“Dad and I hate reading books. Right dad?”
My gait faltered as I strained my ears to hear the dad’s response, but not wanting to look like a weirdo, I quickly regained my composure and continued on my way to look at books on medieval history.
But I couldn't focus. This kid had completely derailed me.
My own inner father began getting onto the boy. Don’t talk like that in front of your sister. He wanted to say. She’s just learning to read. I’m sure the boy was parroting words he'd heard at home, but I hoped his father would say something encouraging before little sister decided books weren't worth her time either. I wondered where the mom was. Was she in the store looking for books? If so, she must be the reader in the family. Maybe there isn’t a mom in the picture. In that case, dad isn’t a reader but understands the value of it and wants to instill that value in his children by bringing them to bookstores.
My mind went on and on with varying scenarios. If I had hair, I would have pulled it out.
I’m being a touch melodramatic, but the kid’s words really did have an effect on me. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. I gave up on finding a book and went to find my wife so I could tell her about this absurd conversation I had just overheard. I needed to unload these feelings onto a sympathetic ear.
I found her, at a small wooden table hunched over a book, brown hair hiding her face. I plopped down in the worn chair across from her. A fake snake plant stood erect in the center of the table blocking her from my view. I slid the plant over, leaned forward on my elbows and launched into my tale. I told her a little boy, that I don’t even know, had just broken my heart. Naturally, she sought to reassure me by saying, “maybe he will grow to love reading.”
I certainly hope so. He’s in the right place for it, anyways.
I left her to read as I continued to wander aimlessly around the store. I ended up in the writing section and picked up William Zinsser’s “On Writing Well”. Shopping complete. We ate dinner and headed home.
Honestly, I had forgotten about the bookstore interaction, until I was reading Zinsser’s book. In it he said “to look for your [writing] material everywhere.” That got me thinking about the past few days. Had I had any interactions that I could turn into a blog post?
Lightbulb moment.
The Research
Storytime is over. It is now imperative that I leave you with a bit of information on how important it is to read to your child, some tips on how to do it, and how your local library can support you and your child on your reading journeys. Just in case you don’t want to take the words of a stranger on the internet at face value, I had my inner librarian do some research for you.
According to a 2025 study by the National Assessment Governing Board, “40 percent of 4th graders are below the NAEP Basic level in reading, which is the largest percentage since 2002.” In other words, American fourth graders fail to grasp the protagonist's motivation in the stories they read. Sure, we can blame the low hanging fruit like smartphones, AI, and rampant social media use, but the truth to low literacy rates lies much closer to home.
In his book Habits of the Household, Justin Whitmel Early writes,
“...The most significant thing about any household is what is considered normal. Why is this important? Because the normal is what shapes us the most, though we notice it the least. It is precisely the unremarkable nature of the normal that gives it such remarkable power. All of our unspoken values get hidden under the invisibility cloak of the ordinary. We think of our day-to-day routines as neutral simply because we see them so often.”
Basically, children imitate the behaviors they see their parents doing. If they see us staring at a phone screen all day, they will want to do the same. If little boys hear dad say he hates reading, then little boys are going to proclaim “I hate reading!”
To put it simply, if we want our children to have good reading habits, then we parents must also have good reading habits. If you're a parent, let your children see you with a book in your hand. I know how difficult it can be to focus on the written word when the kids are running around destroying the house you just cleaned, but we have to do it. If we can’t get our children reading, and comprehending what they are reading, they will become functionally illiterate adults.
Research performed by the U.S. Department of Education in 2019 shows that “one in five U.S. adults (21 percent, or 43 million) struggle with comparing and contrasting information, paraphrasing, or making low-level inferences.” Those are vital skills every working adult should possess.
Illiteracy is not something we expect to run into in America. I know it’s not something I left high school expecting to ever encounter, but I can tell you that my library helps functionally illiterate adults several times a week. We help those who can’t understand the government documents, rental agreements, divorce papers, and more they have to sign.
More recently, my wife who works for a nonprofit that seeks to help people with substance misuse issues, was contacted by a friend to help an elderly woman whose husband was in the hospital. There were no drug issues, but the individual who contacted my wife didn’t know who else to call. Helping elderly individuals without substance use problems is not in her job description, but she can contact people who can help. My wife connected this woman with the Department of Aging and Disability Services for assistance, but after a few weeks nothing was changing. They were trying to communicate with her via text messages and letters in the mail. Turns out, she can’t read.
So, my wife had to recontact the social workers and get them to make phone calls or face-to-face visits instead. Once they changed their approach they were able to get her the help she needed.
Yes, this individual was from an older generation, but I think the story highlights how someone can go their whole lives as functionally illiterate. Somehow hiding the fact that they either can’t read at all or are unable to understand the things they do read. Not being able to read cost her weeks of discomfort in poor living conditions because she could not understand the information that was given to her. If we parents want to help our children avoid a similar future, we have to support them by ensuring they are reading as often as possible.
Enter the Public Library
Public libraries, over the past twenty years or so, have really been changing our service model to the communities we are a part of. Books will always be our number one business, but there are now many ways we support literacy through alternative activities, especially as we learn more about child development.
One such organization, founded in New York, is the Family Place Libraries model, which promotes how young children learn through play. Walk into any of the more than 500 Family Place Libraries across the nation and you will find toy kitchens, dress up clothes, puppets, baby dolls, puzzles, and many other analog play materials that encourage young kids to use their imaginations. These analog play styles build literacy skills that children will need when they enter kindergarten. Alongside the toys, parents will find books, information sheets on youth literacy, and maybe even songs taped to the wall above diaper changing stations to promote singing to their children. As a trained Family Place librarian, I can attest that the model works. I have seen it in action across hundreds of programs and interactions with families.
I distinctly remember one young child who would come to my storytimes and would only communicate through basic sign language with mom. They came to a Family Place workshop, a five-week program at the library that connects parents with child development specialists, and enables parents to have imaginative play with their child. At that workshop, they connected with a speech pathologist. Now that kid is approaching his preteen years and jabbers constantly anytime they come into the library.
Another great youth literacy resource your library may offer is a One Thousand Books Before Kindergarten Program (1KBBK). The goal of this organization is to read one thousand books with your child before they go into kindergarten. That sounds like a lot, but if you read two books a night you can finish in a little over a year. I started with my youngest child the day she was born and we finished when she was three. We still read bedtime stories together almost every night. We have even gotten to the point where she has started reading them to me, and it’s been an amazing experience watching that growth and development occur. Plus, she really loves books, which makes me happy.
If you have a more active child, I recommend looking for a local StoryWalk. A StoryWalk is a kind of deconstructed book set out on a walkable path. You read a page, then walk, hop, skip, or dance your way to the next page. You continue on in this manner until you’ve read the whole book. They are quite fun and great for younger kids to burn some energy and still get in a bit of reading. My library runs one at a local city park, where we change the stories out monthly.
I would be remiss if I neglected to mention the original early literacy program of the public library, storytime. This quick 30-45 minute program has books, songs, and usually some kind of art activity. It is a great way to meet other parents with children the same age as yours and have your child see someone else reading to them. Many libraries even offer them in bilingual versions. My library has a Spanish/English bilingual storytime, which is a wonderful way for children from both languages to learn the other one. Depending on where you live, your library may offer other language types depending on the local community.
Also, if you're reading this and it is summertime, your library likely has a summer reading program happening. If you’ve never participated in an SRP before, it is a summerlong reading challenge with prizes, edutainment performers, craft activities and more.
If you don’t have a library in your town, see if there are any Little Free Libraries in your area. You can look them up here. Little Free Libraries operate on the take a book, leave a book model.
Finally, I will mention Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. Inspired by her own father’s illiteracy, Dolly Parton started the Imagination Library to send books, free of charge, to children from birth to five years old. It does have a location requirement, but the program does cover a large swath of America, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and the Republic of Ireland. You can check if this service is available in your area on the Imagination Library website.
There are likely a ton more options available out there, and your local library likely offers one of the above programs, or something completely different and unique that I have never even heard of, but I can almost guarantee they offer some kind of early literacy programming.
The bulk of this article has been about youth literacy, but many public libraries offer adult literacy activities as well. I can only speak to what my small library offers, but I am confident that if you visit your local library you can find computer classes, English and Spanish as a second language courses, book clubs, reading challenges, language learning apps, books, newspapers, magazines, and a plethora of other activities to support you on your own lifelong learning journey. The best part, it's all free.
So, what are you waiting for?
I’m Justin. I write about librarianship, leadership, public service, and books. If you found this piece relatable, leave me a like or send me an email. Subscribe if you want more of what’s bouncing around in my head. If you found this article helpful, consider buying me a coffee.